Football may be on my TV again, but I’m gonna reserve my “football is back!” stance until the one true and good team returns to action.
Word of the Day: <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/amalgamate">Amalgamate.</a> VOTE COMING SOON. Nothing about this situation in the Big Ten has been anything resembling smooth or clear. We've got dozens of people reporting dozens of things, some with blatantly fake sources and some presumably using those people as their sources. However, it seems – even according to the most conservative of all reports about this situation – we are finally getting somewhere. <a href="https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/29854652/ohio-state-buckeyes-football-coach-ryan-day-questions-big-ten-hints-mid-october-return">ESPN</a> and <a href="https://theathletic.com/2057993/2020/09/10/pressure-is-mounting-in-the-big-ten-could-the-timeline-accelerate/"><em>The Athletic</em></a> have both reported that the Big Ten's return to competition task force is ready to present its findings to the conference and that a vote could happen within the next few days. More importantly, October is still on the table. </p><blockquote> <p> A Big Ten source told The Athletic on Thursday that restarting competition at the end of October is not out of the question, under the assumption that Big Ten campuses are outfitted with equipment to produce daily tests by the end of September. The source said the league’s Council of Presidents and Chancellors (COP/C) is expected to be briefed by the conference’s medical subcommittee this weekend and — if the group feels confident moving forward based on that information — could vote on a restart date as soon as Sunday. The source added that it is possible the league moves forward but individual schools still opt not to play in 2020. </p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p> Sources have told ESPN the Big Ten's return to competition task force is getting closer to presenting updated findings to the league's presidents and chancellors, who could vote again on competition timelines as early as next week. </p> </blockquote><p> This is particularly meaningful because both of these outlets have been among the ones slow-playing any hope of an October season or an imminent vote. So if this is what they're saying now... Buckle up. JOEY B VS. JOEY B. The good news for Joe Burrow is that on Sunday morning he makes his first NFL start for the Super Bowl favorite Bengals. The bad news is, he's going to have the elder Bosa Brother trying to shove his face into the turf his entire debut. But in a delightful bit of trash talk, Joey reminds us that this isn't exactly uncharted territory. For context, if Burrow was on the scout team, there's a decent chance he was almost certainly full-contact, which means that Bosa has absolutely folded him across his shoulder more than once. But if that bothered Burrow, we know he'll never tell. Football. Guy. FALSE ALARM! The ACC coaches may think a 300+ team NCAA Tournament sounds like a killer idea, but it would seem that the NCAA ain't exactly sold. So turns out, everyone's online meltdown was just a bit premature. Who would have thought?! Personally, I was fine with the proposal. Given how enormously shitty this year has been, there are worse things in life than somebody trying to give me five times as many NCAA Tournament games. A YOUNG SISQO. As long as I've known or known of Joshua Perry, he's basically been GQ Magazine personified. That's no slander – lord knows my GAP Kids ass would murder someone <a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/906371585807994880/b7sU1v28.jpg">for this smolder.</a> However, I'm – to quote our pal Jim Harbaugh – <em>BITTERLY </em>disappointed that I seem to have missed out on Perry's young SisQó phase. If he doesn't bring back the blonde and deliver a performance of Thong Song for Halloween, I'll have no choice but to pursue legal action. SONG OF THE DAY. "Thong Song" by SisQó. </p><p> NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. A huge Northeast Ohio drug bust includes <a href="https://fox8.com/news/operation-vapor-trail-in-summit-stark-counties-reportedly-leads-to-huge-marijuana-drug-bust/">THC-enhanced kid’s cereal...</a> The long, strange history of <a href="https://delacortereview.org/2020/09/10/the-black-dahlia-the-long-strange-history-of-los-angeles-coldest-cold-case/?utm_source=digg">Los Angeles’ coldest cold case...</a> The afterlife <a href="https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/the-afterlife-of-the-male-model?utm_source=digg">of the male model...</a> St. Louis Zoo says a python laid 7 eggs without male contact <a href="https://apnews.com/1b6262dfb39d2d7d7437534080b1748e">for almost two decades...</a> New Japanese panties <a href="https://soranews24.com/2020/09/09/new-panties-from-japan-can-transform-into-cats%E3%80%90photos%E3%80%91/">can transform into cats...</a>